Beth’s Blog

Today at 6:08 am this morning Beth died, she past on in her sleep as she wanted to.

We had gathered the night before to see her and say goodbye as she really had deteriorated since the previous Sunday. Her sons and their girlfriends, David and Megan, Steve and Angelina, her brother Keith and his best friend Jo Ann, her brother Larry and his partner Jeff and myself. We all took turns visiting her throughout the day and she recognized every one of us.

I sent an email to Larry asking if I could “move in” so I could be close by for the end. Well I had already packed and arrived when I received his answer. So I went in to see Beth and she was sleeping and the movie Devils Advocate was playing on the TV next to her. Since it was on DVD I know it was a request, though ironic. I sat with her for about 1.5 hours, I kissed her several times and thanked her for a wonderful life that she had given me. While I sat there I also thought about all of the great things and good times we had together.

Later that night, we had a family meeting to see where everyone was emotionally and to make sure they are ready for what was about to happen.

Keith and Jo Ann left for the night, the kids, Jeff and Larry played dominoes. I had to leave because I forgot something. I headed out at about 10:15 pm and got back about 1130 pm. It was tough getting to sleep as I would peer over the railing of the loft to check on her.

I had checked on her at about 4:50 am and she was still breathing. Shortly after 6 am I heard her brother Larry come into the room as I was in the loft above, I looked over the railing and he looked up at me and said “she’s not breathing”. I came down the stairs and confirmed what he had said.

Beth Minnesota Science Museum 2002

Beth Navy Pier 2002, my favorite picture I have taken of her.

For those of you who never knew her or maybe only through my writing you missed a wonderful person. She always had a spark of immaturity that made her always seem younger than she really was.

She was the first person in my life who I felt true love for and received it just as well. I loved her more than anything in life, she will truly be missed.

Minutes after the end

Elizabeth Ann Loretto McDonnell
10-08-1956 / 08-20-2010 53 Years Old
Bethy, I love you.

Dave

Well Beth has survived another year, there is hope that there are more years to come.

Beth, I want to say that you have been my everything the past 8 years. You taught me to love again. You taught me to trust again. You have been there for me through some really crappy times, grandfather passing, good friend passing and finally my mother passing.

You and your family welcomed me in and made me feel as part of the family. I have watched your kids grow up to become men. I saw your brother go from working for someone to owning the business that he’s worked so hard at. I have also enjoyed Larry’s antics and Jeff’s uncanny memory of past events. I have seen your dad, beat colon cancer, stop smoking and stop drinking without missing a heartbeat you are truly like your dad.

I have loved you like no one else in my entire life, I wished we had met earlier in life. (I’ll still blame you for that one ).

Love you forever and always,

Dave

With the CT guided lung biopsy came a series of confusing and frightening conclusions from both the oncologist and the surgeon throughout the rest of October and up to the end of November. In all truth, the confusion started with the symptoms. Since the end of September, I have been diagnosed with or presumed to have had allergies, Leionnaires’s Disease, asthma, pneumonia, lung cancer and metastasized breast cancer. Today is November 26 and I still don’t know what kind of cancer I have. Dr. Khan said he would call me Monday or Tuesday with more findings.

But I’m getting ahead of the story.

October 23 – I had the CT guided lung biopsy. This is just like a CT scan, but it has a robot arm with a large needle which enters the area to be biopsied and takes a tissue sample. I was given something for pain and to put me in a relaxed state. I wasn’t completely out, but I don’t remember a lot about the scan so I must have been asleep for part of it. I was bruised and swollen at the site for almost a week. There were three small, individual areas where I could see the needle had entered.

October 25 – I had an appointment to see Dr. Khan. And to be honest, I have no idea what we talked about.

October 27 – I had an appointment to see Dr. Muehlebach. This is when he said he wasn’t sure if I even had cancer and that it was probably just a raging case of pneumonia. But he set up a PET Scan (to find any areas of cancer) and a Pulmonary Function Test (to test my lung capacity in case I needed part of it removed).

Late in June 2006 I started getting some drainage and a cough. A co-worker had similar symptoms and I assumed I caught something from him. My symptoms continued for a month and another co-worker suggested that I might have developed allergies. We had only moved to the Kansas City, KS area about a year earlier and maybe allergies were just settling in. I took several over-the-counter symptom maskers until finally in September I went to the doctor to find out what I was allergic to and to get some relief. I first saw Dr. Timothy Talbert and he took a blood test and prescribed a cough medicine. I wasn’t getting any better and went back, this time to see an allergist, Dr. Julie Dehan. She had me perform a number of tests to see how much lung capacity I had, etc. She said I probably had border-line asthma and was probably allergic to some weeds and some other common pollens. She put me on Cingulair, Advair, Prednisone and for a sinus infection an antibiotic. I started showing some improvement, but I was not symptom free. Dave, my companion of 5 years and I went to San Diego from October 4 through October 11 for his brother’s wedding and to visit family (his aunt is also my best friend). I had some very bad spells of coughing while there and thought (wrongly) that I was having reactions to new allergens or to California pollutants. The day we were to return to Kansas, Dr. Talbert’s office called to tell me they found out what I had…Legionella Bacillium. Legionnaire’s Disease. So, I was told to continue to take my antibiotics. I had three days worth left. I didn’t get any better once I got back home. Dr. Talbert refilled my antibiotics for another 10 days. I still wasn’t getting any better after another 6 days. I went back to Dr. Talbert. He took a chest x-ray. After viewing it, he ordered a CT scan for the very next day. After the CT scan I went back to see Dr. Talbert. He said it wasn’t good news. He said it was cancer and was sending me to Dr. Qamar Khan (oncologist). He saw the x-ray and CT scan and said it wasn’t good and sent me to a cardiothoracic surgeon, Dr. Gregory Muehlebach. He ordered a lung biopsy. And that’s how this all began.